When discussing such things as my home, wardrobe, car or most any material object, I would interject this saying, my motto. I had a nice life but I knew things could always be better and the “better” was what I wanted. Although I was a cheerful person I didn’t truly enjoy the stage I was in. I was constantly looking ahead to the future, planning for the time when life would be perfect.

And then I met Jesus and satisfaction soon followed. Quickly I realized that repeating that statement as a Christian reflected on the Lord I claimed to trust in and rely upon. That it seemed to sound as if God wasn’t enough or maybe His grace wasn’t sufficient. I banned it from my lips, which was no easy task. Slowly my motto slipped from my memory never to return again.

Or so I thought.

The other day, as I was taking clothes out of the dryer that looked like they could fit the Hulk, I began to wonder when my children got so big. Wasn’t it just a few years ago when I was needed to tie their shoes, kill the spider on their bedroom floor or turn the kitchen faucet on because it was just beyond their reach?

Now here they are, grown in size, driving, working, and constantly eating. It seems as though there just wasn’t enough time in between. Then it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, even though my motto hadn’t crossed my lips in years it still may have affected my mindset. There have been many times throughout these years of being at home with my children that I have failed to soak up all this particular stage of life had to offer. Rather than delight in my little ones and the trouble du jour, I wasted way too much time focusing on the future when life would be perfect. Looking towards my tomorrows, I have attempted to shape and mold what I was never in control of in the first place.

I revel in being a mother, I always have but time is what taught me that each stage of a child’s life is very temporary and very precious.

These days I reminisce fondly and even miss the years when I was wanted to wipe a nose or even a dirty derriere; when night after night and year after year one of my little ones  would crawl into bed with us only to keep me awake with their tossing and turning.

There was many a time that my husband and I would stay up late discussing the latest child rearing difficulty at hand. Seeing no light at the end of the tunnel we fell victim to the belief that there wasn’t one. But there was; His light was always there to guide us even when we didn’t know it.

Time is fleeting. Everything will, whether I want it to or not, eventually change. It has taken years but I finally realize that today, right now, is the perfection I’ve been chasing. And tomorrow will take care of itself.

We tend to talk a lot.

Yes, WE. Quit thinking it’s all my fault.

Yesterday was no exception. The only thing different this time was the topic of discussion, community. Church community to be specific.

My friend, who’s been a believer far longer than I have and has probably seen far more changes within the church too, pointed out the lack of community she’s noticed. Her questions were, “Do I want something that no one else does? Am I strange?”

I quickly told her she wasn’t strange at all. But in just seconds I realized I might be wrong, she might actually be strange.

Think about it, if everyone in the church today wanted true community then we would have it.

But if people just pretended to want community and in all actuality wanted their private, personal lives to be separate from their church lives, well, we’d have exactly what we have in the church today. We’d have hugs, kisses and gracious hands shakes once or twice a week with little intimate knowledge of each other.

I wish everyone really wanted that feeling of community among the brethren.

I wish fellowship felt much more like family. And I mean the we’re-in-this-together-forever-type of family.

I wish she and I weren’t the strange ones.

On one hand I have such fond memories of you. You were there for me when I truly needed you. You introduced me to new friends that I would never have met had you not had a hand in it. You kept me busy, too busy at times, but busy nonetheless when I felt lonely and useless. Blogging, you will always hold a special place in my heart.

Yet, on the other hand you tried desperately to take over my life when I didn’t think to keep you reigned in. My quiet times with the Lord morphed into online discussions. Things that God was attempting to teach me were now suddenly debatable. My poor children and all that they said and did became fodder for potentially millions of unknown readers.  By God’s grace the millions never appeared but the children felt used regardless.

Honestly, Blogging, I want to reunite. Really I do.  But is it possible for us to reconcile on my terms?

I’m older and wiser now and need to let you know that it’s my way or the highway.

The ball’s in your court…

She knows me well.

She knows the beating that 2009 gave us.

She cares

No matter how badly last year treated you, just walk tall with your head held high. This is a brand new year, baby!

Yeah, it may have just been a forward but it was a funny one nonetheless.

Actually, I really haven’t been avoiding this blog as much as I’ve been busy creating two others. Quit laughing. These two others are not going to depend on me to write for them. It’s pretty obvious by this blog that the last thing I needed was another, let alone two more.

No the other sites are very different from this personal blog.

The first is a hosting website that is located at createdforHISglory.org. On the about page I explain the reason why but basically this hosting company will be using 100% of all incoming fees towards missions work. It’s a great opportunity for anyone who has their own website to rest assured that they are being good stewards of their finances. The entire $10 a month fee is used to fund missions.

If you are looking for a web host or thinking of switching web hosts, please visit and sign up at createdforhisglory.org and we’ll be happy to get you all set up.

The second blog is named MyLifeisHIS.com and is a place where believers in Jesus Christ can go to share their testimonies of God’s faithfulness, answers to prayer, praise reports and salvation testimonies. The difficult economic times and the upcoming holidays both seem to be good reasons to start a blog of this type. Everyone at one time or another needs to be reminded that God is still on His throne and always will be.

Please take a moment to visit MyLifeisHIS.com today. I’d really appreciate your participation in this project. You can submit your testimony/story anonymously or you can register to be a contributor and leave your blog or twitter link at the end of your post.

It’s hard for me to believe that just a couple of years ago making sure I had something to post daily meant everything to me. I remember spending hours and hours each evening typing away. God forbid a post, if even just a meme, wasn’t ready for public viewing the following day. Blogging was my drug of choice I suppose.

Today I am free from the addiction and it feels good. It makes for a whole lot less posting but nonetheless it feels good.

On another note, have you ever thought about what life might be like in the future and then, when you were actually living that future, pondered how different it was from what you thought it would be? I do. Often.

Life is never what I thought it would be.

I’m the kind of person who loves to imagine the miraculous happening. Life usually isn’t all that miraculous though, on a grand scale anyway. I like the thought of a white knight, a good dragon slaying and lots of happily ever afters. I want to witness the impossible, better yet, to be a part of making it happen.

But life is much more mundane than I imagine it should be. For me anyway. For now.

My prayer is that Jesus would compel me to change it.

God has done so many amazing things in me and my family in the last year that I don’t think I can keep silent anymore.

After moving into this house and being led to join a wonderful Spirit-led church family, God has not stopped teaching, stretching and growing each person in this household.

Have you ever prayed for something for more years than you can even recall and then watched as God put all the pieces into place? If you have, you know the joy and amazement that is, well that is my life right now.

Is everything perfect? No, no don’t let me give you that impression. Are we in God’s will and experiencing the shalom and joy from being right where we are supposed to be? Yes, yes we are.

God is amazing albeit a bit hard to understand at times. Well “a bit” might be an understatement. I rarely get what He is doing and I’m not always sure how I’m to respond but He is faithful to guide and use His rod and staff if necessary. Thank you, Sir, may I have another? – (Don’t ask, it’s just how my mind works.)

Annnnnnyway… He’s been answering prayers of mine that I got tired of begging for years ago. I gave up because I thought the answer must have been NO but I guess I misunderstood His silence.

The point is, God is doing a work and I want to document it here. I don’t want to debate theology or convince others that the way I view the meaning of a particular scripture is the right way. I just want to write what God is up to in our lives. If the comment section ever gets in the way of that then comments will be turned off. Until then feel free to use the comment section to tell me what God is doing in your life too.

In Christ’s Love,

Lauren

Feel like chatting?

Then friend request me on facebook ’cause lately you’ll find me there a whole more than here.

I’ll be back at some point. You know me, I can’t stay away from writing for too long. But until then… you know where to find me.

Later.

He has shown me so much truth over the last few months. I’ve talked for endless hours on the phone with my sister and other dear friends (who know well how much I dislike the phone) but it seems so hard to put words to page here about it.

The Lord is not only teaching me things but giving me opportunity to apply it immediately. I learn best that way but of course He knows that. He is stretching and molding me and I am so pleased to feel the warmth of His touch. At times there is discomfort in the process but I look ahead to the possibilities of what He is showing me and I pray He doesn’t stop.

Spiritual warfare and prayer are foremost on the list of things He’s shining His light on for me. Thirteen years of being a Christian and finally now I’m beginning to grasp the miraculous power we have available to us through His resurrection? Years of crawling, not even walking, by faith with no real understanding of the power that my union with Christ in His crucifixion avails me?

Why do so few pastors preach on things like our need to daily put on the Armor of God? I don’t get it.

We are in a battle people! Look at the evidence, there are dead bodies all around us. Christians too are being defeated by this unseen enemy. Why are there so many casualties when the battle has already been won?

More than likely it’s simply a lack of strength for the battle. So many of us are starving to death for lack of spiritual sustenance.  There is a feast of astounding proportions waiting for us to feed on daily in His Word and instead we nibble. A little bit here, a little taste there, wouldn’t want to get too full now would we?

Well not me. No, I’m gobbling up His Word like it’s a chocolate cream pie, hold the whipped cream, thank you very much. No utensils, no hands even, just mouth to food and here I sit with verses strewn all over my face. It may not look pretty but I’ve never felt so full and content. Even better? I’ve never been so ready for this battle that I’ve always been in the midst of but never really known how to fight.

How about you, are you starving or feasting? And how’s that going for you?

I had researched the churches in the area on the web. We had first narrowed down the ones we would visit to the three that struck a cord with us in some way. When push came to shove though there was only one we wanted to attend. And so we did, for six weeks.

Six weeks of feeling like we didn’t belong, like we weren’t part of this group. Six weeks of being lost among the 3000 or so hip, beautiful people that attended each Sunday. Six weeks of listening to the deafeningly loud worship music by the extremely talented band.

The preaching was good, really good. But something was wrong and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Everything looked perfect yet something just wasn’t right. Still we kept attending because we wanted this to be our church home.

It wasn’t until our oldest son was invited by a friend from work to attend a small church, that was actually closer to our home than this one, that we almost entertained the thought of visiting it too.

The first week Niko went to the small church we were treated to a video sermon at the big, perfect church. And when I say treated I’m not trying to give you the impression we liked it. Some people may not be bothered by a video sermon. I, on the other hand, found myself fidgeting like crazy in between bouts of dosing off. Not good.

And so the next week it didn’t take much cajoling from Niko to get us to say we’d go with him to the small church.

We walked in and a man walked up to introduce himself, shake our hands, and whole-heartedly welcome us. He remembered Niko’s name from the week before. He answered a few of our questions and in one fell swoop convinced me that my presence there mattered. He wasn’t the only one either, others did the same. After the service, which truly seemed Spirit-led, no one rushed out to their car. People talked and hugged and smiled kind of like family does when a celebration nears its end.

The second week proved that the first wasn’t a fluke. A sweet older woman invited me to her home for a Bible study the following Wednesday. She caught me by surprise and without thinking I said yes. I say without thinking because I’m not sure how I feel about woman’s Bible studies anymore.

Often the Bible isn’t really being studied but a Christian book instead. During the studies I’ve attended sin has run rampant. Gluttony and gossip are never confronted but “covered by grace.” Whatever that means?!

My yes means yes though so I went.

As I got out of my car I was pleasantly surprised to see the pastor getting out of his and he had his Bible in his hand, no book just his Bible. It turns out this was not a woman’s Bible study but instead it was attended by both men and women. The best part? They were all – um how can I say this without sounding bad – much older than me. They were saints who had known the Lord for 3, 4, maybe 5 times longer than me. What a delight!

The kids have made friends. The church even hosts a one-day-a-week homeschool academy.  It’s just been so easy to become involved.

I know that things will not always be perfect. No fellowhip is perfect. We weren’t looking for perfection. We were looking for a church home. And now that we’ve found it, it’s just one of things for which I’m thankful.