She knows me well.

She knows the beating that 2009 gave us.

She cares

No matter how badly last year treated you, just walk tall with your head held high. This is a brand new year, baby!

Yeah, it may have just been a forward but it was a funny one nonetheless.

Actually, I really haven’t been avoiding this blog as much as I’ve been busy creating two others. Quit laughing. These two others are not going to depend on me to write for them. It’s pretty obvious by this blog that the last thing I needed was another, let alone two more.

No the other sites are very different from this personal blog.

The first is a hosting website that is located at createdforHISglory.org. On the about page I explain the reason why but basically this hosting company will be using 100% of all incoming fees towards missions work. It’s a great opportunity for anyone who has their own website to rest assured that they are being good stewards of their finances. The entire $10 a month fee is used to fund missions.

If you are looking for a web host or thinking of switching web hosts, please visit and sign up at createdforhisglory.org and we’ll be happy to get you all set up.

The second blog is named MyLifeisHIS.com and is a place where believers in Jesus Christ can go to share their testimonies of God’s faithfulness, answers to prayer, praise reports and salvation testimonies. The difficult economic times and the upcoming holidays both seem to be good reasons to start a blog of this type. Everyone at one time or another needs to be reminded that God is still on His throne and always will be.

Please take a moment to visit MyLifeisHIS.com today. I’d really appreciate your participation in this project. You can submit your testimony/story anonymously or you can register to be a contributor and leave your blog or twitter link at the end of your post.

It’s hard for me to believe that just a couple of years ago making sure I had something to post daily meant everything to me. I remember spending hours and hours each evening typing away. God forbid a post, if even just a meme, wasn’t ready for public viewing the following day. Blogging was my drug of choice I suppose.

Today I am free from the addiction and it feels good. It makes for a whole lot less posting but nonetheless it feels good.

On another note, have you ever thought about what life might be like in the future and then, when you were actually living that future, pondered how different it was from what you thought it would be? I do. Often.

Life is never what I thought it would be.

I’m the kind of person who loves to imagine the miraculous happening. Life usually isn’t all that miraculous though, on a grand scale anyway. I like the thought of a white knight, a good dragon slaying and lots of happily ever afters. I want to witness the impossible, better yet, to be a part of making it happen.

But life is much more mundane than I imagine it should be. For me anyway. For now.

My prayer is that Jesus would compel me to change it.

God has done so many amazing things in me and my family in the last year that I don’t think I can keep silent anymore.

After moving into this house and being led to join a wonderful Spirit-led church family, God has not stopped teaching, stretching and growing each person in this household.

Have you ever prayed for something for more years than you can even recall and then watched as God put all the pieces into place? If you have, you know the joy and amazement that is, well that is my life right now.

Is everything perfect? No, no don’t let me give you that impression. Are we in God’s will and experiencing the shalom and joy from being right where we are supposed to be? Yes, yes we are.

God is amazing albeit a bit hard to understand at times. Well “a bit” might be an understatement. I rarely get what He is doing and I’m not always sure how I’m to respond but He is faithful to guide and use His rod and staff if necessary. Thank you, Sir, may I have another? – (Don’t ask, it’s just how my mind works.)

Annnnnnyway… He’s been answering prayers of mine that I got tired of begging for years ago. I gave up because I thought the answer must have been NO but I guess I misunderstood His silence.

The point is, God is doing a work and I want to document it here. I don’t want to debate theology or convince others that the way I view the meaning of a particular scripture is the right way. I just want to write what God is up to in our lives. If the comment section ever gets in the way of that then comments will be turned off. Until then feel free to use the comment section to tell me what God is doing in your life too.

In Christ’s Love,

Lauren

He has shown me so much truth over the last few months. I’ve talked for endless hours on the phone with my sister and other dear friends (who know well how much I dislike the phone) but it seems so hard to put words to page here about it.

The Lord is not only teaching me things but giving me opportunity to apply it immediately. I learn best that way but of course He knows that. He is stretching and molding me and I am so pleased to feel the warmth of His touch. At times there is discomfort in the process but I look ahead to the possibilities of what He is showing me and I pray He doesn’t stop.

Spiritual warfare and prayer are foremost on the list of things He’s shining His light on for me. Thirteen years of being a Christian and finally now I’m beginning to grasp the miraculous power we have available to us through His resurrection? Years of crawling, not even walking, by faith with no real understanding of the power that my union with Christ in His crucifixion avails me?

Why do so few pastors preach on things like our need to daily put on the Armor of God? I don’t get it.

We are in a battle people! Look at the evidence, there are dead bodies all around us. Christians too are being defeated by this unseen enemy. Why are there so many casualties when the battle has already been won?

More than likely it’s simply a lack of strength for the battle. So many of us are starving to death for lack of spiritual sustenance.  There is a feast of astounding proportions waiting for us to feed on daily in His Word and instead we nibble. A little bit here, a little taste there, wouldn’t want to get too full now would we?

Well not me. No, I’m gobbling up His Word like it’s a chocolate cream pie, hold the whipped cream, thank you very much. No utensils, no hands even, just mouth to food and here I sit with verses strewn all over my face. It may not look pretty but I’ve never felt so full and content. Even better? I’ve never been so ready for this battle that I’ve always been in the midst of but never really known how to fight.

How about you, are you starving or feasting? And how’s that going for you?

I had researched the churches in the area on the web. We had first narrowed down the ones we would visit to the three that struck a cord with us in some way. When push came to shove though there was only one we wanted to attend. And so we did, for six weeks.

Six weeks of feeling like we didn’t belong, like we weren’t part of this group. Six weeks of being lost among the 3000 or so hip, beautiful people that attended each Sunday. Six weeks of listening to the deafeningly loud worship music by the extremely talented band.

The preaching was good, really good. But something was wrong and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Everything looked perfect yet something just wasn’t right. Still we kept attending because we wanted this to be our church home.

It wasn’t until our oldest son was invited by a friend from work to attend a small church, that was actually closer to our home than this one, that we almost entertained the thought of visiting it too.

The first week Niko went to the small church we were treated to a video sermon at the big, perfect church. And when I say treated I’m not trying to give you the impression we liked it. Some people may not be bothered by a video sermon. I, on the other hand, found myself fidgeting like crazy in between bouts of dosing off. Not good.

And so the next week it didn’t take much cajoling from Niko to get us to say we’d go with him to the small church.

We walked in and a man walked up to introduce himself, shake our hands, and whole-heartedly welcome us. He remembered Niko’s name from the week before. He answered a few of our questions and in one fell swoop convinced me that my presence there mattered. He wasn’t the only one either, others did the same. After the service, which truly seemed Spirit-led, no one rushed out to their car. People talked and hugged and smiled kind of like family does when a celebration nears its end.

The second week proved that the first wasn’t a fluke. A sweet older woman invited me to her home for a Bible study the following Wednesday. She caught me by surprise and without thinking I said yes. I say without thinking because I’m not sure how I feel about woman’s Bible studies anymore.

Often the Bible isn’t really being studied but a Christian book instead. During the studies I’ve attended sin has run rampant. Gluttony and gossip are never confronted but “covered by grace.” Whatever that means?!

My yes means yes though so I went.

As I got out of my car I was pleasantly surprised to see the pastor getting out of his and he had his Bible in his hand, no book just his Bible. It turns out this was not a woman’s Bible study but instead it was attended by both men and women. The best part? They were all – um how can I say this without sounding bad – much older than me. They were saints who had known the Lord for 3, 4, maybe 5 times longer than me. What a delight!

The kids have made friends. The church even hosts a one-day-a-week homeschool academy.  It’s just been so easy to become involved.

I know that things will not always be perfect. No fellowhip is perfect. We weren’t looking for perfection. We were looking for a church home. And now that we’ve found it, it’s just one of things for which I’m thankful.

After hoping, praying, and waiting for eleven years, we own a home again.

Those are sweet words to say and for those who’ve known us through the waiting process, I hope they are sweet words to hear too.

Eleven years ago this past summer we lost a beautiful home in Temecula, California. The housing market had slumped and we weren’t the only people experiencing the pain of foreclosure. After the close of my business and the rise of our variable interest rate, we found it impossible to keep up with the payments. The day Julian and I faced this fact, it was like a weight was lifted from our shoulders. Still, hindsight is 20/20, as they say, and I would never advise anyone to walk away from their home. If I had to do it all over again, I’d have fought much harder to keep it.

I never, for even a moment, thought that it would take 6 moves, 5 rentals home which came with 5 very different landlords, and eleven years of patience before God would give us more than we could have imagined. In fact, I had a friend in Wisconsin, smarter than I wanted to admit at the time, that told me it could take ten years before we owned our own home again. I’m pretty sure I was secretly mad at her for a week. How dare she not have greater faith than that?!

Yet even after I’ve said all that I can’t help but ponder the journey. The eleven year journey in which God strengthened my marriage, our family and my faith. The journey that taught me so much about God’s faithfulness and my bend toward selfish, sinful manipulation of a God who, thankfully, will not be moved by such methods.

I think about all of the people He brought into my life because of our “gypsish” tendencies.

I am incredibly thankful for the journey. Incredibly.

On the day we were packing the moving truck with all of our worldly possessions or at least those that would fit, I told anyone who had ears to hear that this move was the beginning of a financial miracle.

$50,000 in debt with the IRS and another nearly $100,000 of debt from credit cards, child support and unsecured loans, a miracle was definitely needed. But the miracle that God gave us was so much more than financial. He brought me home from the work force and provided solely through Julian for the first time in our lives. He gave us the courage to teach our children at home until high school age which has given each of them such a solid foundation with which to face the world that hates the God we so love.

No, I wouldn’t advise anyone to walk away from their home. It’s a harder road than it seems. For us though, God used for good what at times felt like it might kill me.

And if this new home is any indicaton of what He has prepared for us in heaven, people… heaven is so gonna rock!

They are shy in Wisconsin and fast too. If you came near them, and when I say near I mean is-that-a-deer? near, they took off running.

In Texas, the deer have a whole different attitude. They don’t give a hoot how close you get, they ain’t budging. I’d swear they know exactly when hunting season begins and don’t plan on taking cover until the day before the shooting begins.

The other day, we pulled up in the car very close to these little guys, there was a group of about ten to twelve. Since some of them were blocking the road, we yelled for them to move. Nothing. One baby looked up, almost ready to go, when it was quickly chastised by the rest of the group.

So hubby stepped on the gas and hit one.

I kid! But we should have, there’s just something about a deer with attitude.

They seem to taste better.

The thing is, we still have not been told of an appointment time, worse, we have no firm commitment for even a particular date of closing. Someone has to have dropped the ball and now I’m just praying we will close on the house next week.

Drats! Drats! Drats!!

I so wanted the extra time this upcoming long weekend afforded to start the cleaning, painting, and fixing process. I’d also like to have my stuff surrounding me again.

This “life-on-pause” thing I’m in the midst of is making me crazy. I think it’s driving everyone around me bonkers too. Or maybe I am?

Press the PLAY button already would ya? Somebody?! Anybody?!

It’s not living out of this for the last two and half months that’s pushed me over the edge:

Really it isn’t.

And it’s not like I haven’t been to visit all our stuff at the storage units. Well, once.

I’m pretty sure my stuff misses me as much as I miss my stuff. The file cabinet tried to be stoic although I knew down deep it felt empty without me. But we all agree if necessary we could all live life without each other. It might be hard but we could do it.

We just don’t want to do it. We want to be together again. My sofa misses my behind. It didn’t actually say so but it was giving me that vibe.

This life on pause thing is harder than I thought it would be.

My kids are THE best.

God was so good to Julian and me when He chose these three to be ours.

For the last two months we’ve been staying with friends while we attempted to make the state of Texas our new home. Our kids are intimately acquainted with all that a cross-country move entails. They know that it takes a while before you feel like where you now live is home. They know the feeling of shifting allegiances from your old school, sports teams, and burger joint to the new. This moving thing, they’ve done it before. A few times, in fact. And I have to say, they’ve done it well.

This move though was the first time they had to wait months before they even began to settle in. We had no idea exactly where we would end up. Our search for a house took us as far as even a few hours from where we are staying. Hours would have meant a different life than the one they were already beginning to get used to here. They didn’t complain though. Instead we heard from them, “Just go where God leads you.”

They’ve accomplished something else they’ve never done before. For the last two months they’ve managed to live, nearly complaint-free, in a 12 x 14 foot room. All.Three.Of.Them! Think about that for a minute or twelve. Niko is eighteen, Kyle is 16, and Chloe is 12 and they have been nothing but patient and hopeful as they lived together in that one small room. They actually get along better today than they did when this adventure began oh so many weeks ago.

The moral of this story is the same one I’ve told countless times before. Pulling the rug out from underneath our children is an invaluable tool for the parent who will dare to use it.

I’ve seen this happen each time we’ve moved.

They grown, people. They grow up a bit and they grow closer too.

And that my friends is just one of things we as parents are supposed to be helping them do.