You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Psalm 30:11-12

It brings me so much peace in times of trouble to know that everything that Christians go through in this life has been sifted through the loving hand of God the Father first. When I encounter difficulties whether they be with finances, friends or family I can know that the Lord has given His approval for this situation to occur. His reason is always to draw me nearer to Him and teach me one more thing about becoming Christlike.

When Paul tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”, we know because of verse 29 that the word good here means “that which conforms us to the likeness of his Son.” Now to allow this trial to conform me to His Son’s image I must have the proper response to it.

The first response can be found in James 1:2. I must consider this trial pure joy. Joy? Yes joy, because I must understand that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. Next I thank the Lord for this trial, yes now I’m saying that we should be thankful in tribulation. With a proper response we already know by faith that we will grow through this trial as we go through it. I want nothing more in my life than to be like Christ my Savior and if suffering will do this, then (as I breathe a deep sigh) bring it on. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

And finally for me, my next response is to drop to my knees and ask my God what it is that He would have me do; what is it that He would have me learn? I already know that the trial, no matter what it looks like to the secular world, is a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” And God has made it clear to us many times over that spiritual battles are not to be fought in our might but the Lord’s. “For the battle is not yours, but God’s”, 2 Chronicles 20:15.

So as I wait on the Lord, I pray. I pray that He would show me any sin, that He would make a clear path for me to follow and that He would guide my thoughts and actions so that only His Will be done.

Lord God, I pray for all that will read this, that You would fill them, as well as me, with the knowledge of your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. I pray this in order that we may live lives worthy of You, Lord, and please You in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of You, being strengthened with all power according to Your glorious might so that we may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully give thanks to You the Father in all circumstances.
Amen and Amen

I was thinking today about an incident that happened a few years ago. We lived in Wisconsin at the time and our house was in the middle of quite a few very old, very large trees. Maple, Oak, and… oh who am I kidding? Big old trees, I have no idea what kind. I do know that those trees grew a lot of leaves and in the Fall, much to our chagrin, they would drop their leaves. Everywhere. I bet you didn’t think you were going to get such an in-depth science lesson here today, did you?

As I was saying, leaves. Leaves! We were covered in leaves every Fall. So of course we had no choice but to burn those leaves, which is what Kyle and I chose to do one day. My husband Julian, in preparation, had made an impressive pile of leaves, sticks, and twigs in the fire pit in the backyard. Although we still had mounds surrounding the fire pit that were two and three feet high.

Because we could not find the lighter fluid anywhere my sweet son suggested what most fifteen year-olds would suggest, “I’ll use gasoline.”

I couldn’t think of an alternative quickly enough so that is exactly what he used. But no worries because I was standing by to limit the amount. When I said enough, he stopped. Then as he put the gas can down, I thought about its location and told him to put it a little farther away from the fire. Again he obeyed. We’re nothing if not cautious, you see.

I bet you have no idea where I’m going with this little tale.

Within seconds of tossing the lit match into the fire pit, flames had completely engulfed my son. With one foot still in the fire pit, the flames were literally surrounding him to the point that I couldn’t see him for what seemed forever but in reality was probably a second or two. The burn marks on the ground afterwards were three feet past where he had stood at the time. I screamed and could do little else. The explosion rocked the house which made Niko, my oldest son who had been inside filling out college applications, come running outside. He later said he was just sure his family had been killed in the explosion. I managed to turn my eyes toward the back door but that was the extent of my abilities. I could not move one muscle in my body. I just stood there frozen.

A screaming, frozen woman is really not a lot of help when the back yard is on fire.

Kyle was completely unharmed. Thank you, Jesus. Not a hair on his head, not his clothes, nothing was touched by those flames that had completely overtaken him. The mounds of leaves around the fire pit went up in flames quickly though and those flames ran in different directions even quicker.

As I stood frozen, Kyle yelled to get the hose. Niko turned on the water and like the tin man who had finally been oiled I was able to move again in time to get the hose to Kyle. Niko grabbed a bucket and hurriedly filled it inside the house then ran with it to the flames. Back and forth he ran while Kyle sprayed the flames with the hose. And all the while he kept looking back at me with a beautiful smile on his face saying, “I could be a firefighter! I could!”

God is so good!

And composting didn’t sound too bad to me after that little episode either.

The point of this tale, you ask?

Fire showed me its power that day. Raging flames from just a spark and how rapidly it spreads overtaking everything in its path. And so it is with love.

When we come to know the love of God, when we become completely engulfed by it, His love overtakes everything in our path. Everyone we come in contact with is touched by that love.

At least this, I believe, is as He meant it to be. His love as a fire burning in each of us:  lighting our path, filling our lives with warmth, even removing the dry, lifeless brush that hinders the beauty of life.

May His love burn brightly in each of us today just as He meant it to.

I have not updated lately and I really don’t have all that much time to do so even now. Yet I just wanted to stop by my blog tonight and wish all of you a very, merry Christmas. May the joy of the season and the life of the Son overwhelm you today and throughout the coming new year. Merry Christmas!

Luke 2:1-20

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

There is a humbleness or humility that pervades our society today that is not biblical. It is a false humility that the enemy deceives us into thinking is exactly what God desires of us. Satan would have us believe that we are to have a low opinion of ourselves and our God-given talents and abilities. He rejoices when we continually try to convince ourselves of our pitiful position in life, no matter what we actually believe.

In this way, the successful businessman may think being humble is considering himself to be inadequate and the talented dancer might believe denying her dancing ability in public is displaying humility.  Not only are they trying to believe what is not true; they are spending valuable time reflecting only on themselves.

One definition of Biblical humility I found stated, “not the making of one’s self small when he is really great, but thinking little of one’s self, because this is in a sense the right estimate for any human being, however great.” So we aren’t supposed to be trying to think little of ourselves when down deep we are really quite impressed with ourselves, that’s false humility. The above definition is a good one, but I believe there is much more to it than that.

True Biblical humbleness is something quite unique. Biblical humbleness is first understanding we are nothing without Christ. He is our next breath, our very life. If there is any good in us it is only because of Christ. Once we recognize this truth, we can finally see ourselves as no more valuable than any other human on this earth. But hang in there a second because now we’re getting to the good stuff, the easily palatable truths. We have established that we are the ones in need of God, not the other way around. But guess what, He wants us. He may not need us, but He loves us and wants us. The Lord God Almighty loves us beyond words and His greatest desire is to walk with us, or I should say that He desires that we walk with Him. He wants this for not only you, but for me and for everyone on this earth. He desires to have a relationship with every single person He created. Having become the humble people that we are, we want this for all who He created also. We rejoice when others are willing. Having no bias one way or the other, we also rejoice when our Creator God uses others in mighty ways. We rejoice when Godly talents are used to glorify the God we so love, whether it be by ourselves, a loved one, or a brother or sister we have not yet come to know. Just let God be glorified!

Biblical humbleness is when God allows us to be completely stripped of all of our disgusting self-love and clothed in His unselfish, unbiased love for all people. It is true humility when one displays it with no thought or effort on his part. Biblical humility brings glory to God.

I marvel at God’s unmerited favor toward us each time I read this by C.S. Lewis, “He [God] really loves [those] He has created and always gives back to them with His right hand what He has taken away with His left.”

Heavenly Father,
Your goodness and love towards us is simply amazing. Your word tells us that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what You have prepared for those who love You and I believe this truth more every day. Your ways are so far above our ways. You take from us the self-love what will so hinder our walk with you and restore to us love that is not selfish but kind, patient and selfless. Thank you Lord for your love that not only covers me but also fills me.
In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen

We all go through times of trial, and for my husband and me, God has a habit of getting our attention through financial difficulties. We’ve been through our share of other trials too but the lack of money seems to be the go-to trial for us. Maybe because it so quickly brings me to my knees crying out in prayer.

With a husband who works strictly on commission there are no promises that each month’s income will always be enough. If he has a couple of bad months in a row, just like that, we’re in deep trouble. It’s incredibly humbling to have enough and then to find yourself in need. At least for me it is. I prefer to be on the giving rather than receiving end of a gift. Now I realize you may think there is a pride issue hidden in there somewhere but I believe after all we’ve been through it’s no longer pride that makes me feel that way. We’ve been loved on enough by others to simply want to be the lovers, the givers, the caretakers.

I can’t imagine that trials of this kind would make a person anything less than generous.

You see, I know what it feels like to not be able to afford to buy your child’s class photos from school. I know the heartache of watching your kids go without new clothes at the start of the school year. I know the feeling of failure that comes along with the inability to provide health insurance which keeps your kids from playing sports. I know just what it feels like to have to tell your children that they won’t be getting any presents for Christmas.

Even though I realize that everything I mentioned isn’t really all that important in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn’t wish lack on anyone. Satan has used it to make me doubt my worthiness as a parent. Just like that, a trial God allowed to help conform me to His image, when looked at with the wrong perspective, makes me feel I don’t even know God. Satan is a liar and he will twist every situation and use it to his advantage. He convinces me that we not only deserve difficulties but also, that each season of trial will never end.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…” Ecclesiastes 3:1

But eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, I begin to take every thought captive to Jesus Christ. It dawns on me that the horrible thoughts in my head did not originate with me and are not from God either. I regain an eternal perspective. I see the situation the way God sees it and it doesn’t seem nearly as heartbreaking or difficult. When my perspective changes then I can see that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Even if it means going without.

Do you keep a journal? Maybe a prayer journal?

Have you ever read through an entry that was written years back and felt your heart nearly leap from your chest because as you sit in stunned amazement you come to realize that God did everything and more than you asked for there in writing?

I’ve just had such a moment reading through this old entry from 2007:

LABORED ATTENDANCE

Twice in the 12+ years I’ve known the Lord I have felt completely and totally ensconced in a church. I have been: involved, encouraged, taught, stretched, plugged-in, an-integral-part-of, needed, and thrilled to be there. Only twice.

In the first church, I enjoyed this for two years and in the second, three years. And when I say “the first” I mean it literally but “the second” is said only figuratively. There were many churches and many years in between those two experiences. So many that I began to think that my very first church experience of feeling truly a part of a family was quite the anomaly. I wished we had never moved out of state and longed to be a part of this first church again. When I finally “belonged” once again I purposed never to leave this church. I purposed; my sovereign God had other plans.

Currently we attend a very nice church along with a very nice body of believers in a very nice, brand new building. Each Sunday we sit in very nice chairs listening to a very nice sermon. It’s all very nice. Really. Nice.

And I want so much more than nice.

I want passion and belonging; I want accountability, conviction, and tears. I want to gasp and hold my breath, without even realizing it, as I hear the Holy Spirit speak through the words of the pastor. I want a sermon that makes me hang my head and silently weep for forgiveness. And then just as it so often happens when I read the Psalms, I want that same sermon to point me to the God who loves faithfully so I am lifted from my pit of despair, buoyed by His grace. I want to be needed in this fantasy church but not in the nursery or children’s ministry where they send all the newest volunteers. Haven’t I paid those dues? I want to be used in a ministry that reaches outside of the church to love the unlovely and to care for those who can’t care for themselves.

I’m tired of church ministries that only care for their own.

I’m tired of nice. I want more.

And I want to find a church that is filled with believers who feel the same.

And here I sit, just 4 years later, in that very group of believers that I described. One year ago we began attending a brand new church plant without realizing that it would be the answer to our prayers. You can even read here how unlikely I felt it was that this church would be the perfect fit for us. But oh how it is. Perfect for us that is.

We love ONEchapel. We love the Pastor, Ross Parsley and his wife Aimee. We love all of our church family members and how they love us and others. They are passionate about Christ and bringing others into relationship with Him.

We are once again ensconced in a church family and we are thrilled.

I do feel bad about one thing I wrote in the post above though and that is concerning the children’s ministry. I certainly didn’t mean to sound like I don’t like children. I’ve had three and still love them after all these years.

It is just not my calling and yet I’ve always been placed there. It happens in some churches.

I’ve seen how this ministry is supposed to work though here at ONEchapel. I’ve seen the passion and love that exude from those who feel called to serve in children’s ministry. Our children deserve no less.

She was 7, maybe 8 when her brother started touching her inappropriately.

There was a TV room upstairs in the attic that her father had built mainly for her older brothers to use. It was fun and different up there. She could see out the second-story window into the backyard and watch the birds land in the cherry tree. It was carpeted and warm with cartoons playing non-stop. He was always up there too, her older brother that she looked up to and her parents adored.

She learned quickly that there was a price to pay if she wanted to spend time with him and so many that would come after him. This hard-learned lesson stayed with her until her death at age 33.

Everyone she met in her life seemed to extract another piece of her. It was the price she paid, to feel wanted, important, or pretty.

No relationship seemed to come without a price tag. Even though the cost seemed of less and less value to her it was so much greater than she knew.

When she started drinking at age 13 it numbed some of the pain but never for long enough. The drugs she started taking at age 14 seemed to be the answer, at least for awhile.

Yet years later no drug had ever wiped the immense regret of her two abortions out of her mind.

What confused her the most through all of this was that no one, no matter how close they were to her, seemed to notice the pain she was in. Her family saw a quiet, good student. Her  friends saw a loud-mouthed party girl. Guys just saw an object to use. No one ever saw her deep, immeasurable pain. No one ever looked at her long enough to notice it.

That woman died 16 years ago.

She was crucified on the cross with Jesus. She no longer lives but Christ lives in her. The life she lives in this body she now lives by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us. (Galatians 2:20).

I am a new creation in Christ, the old is gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Have you met my Jesus? He can make you new too!

Labor Day, for most it means a three-day weekend, a relaxing end to summer spent grilling out with friends and family. It means swimming for one of the last times of the year, potato salad, watermelon, and don’t forget the brownies. It kicks off the more organized, less chaotic, scheduled life of school, work, Bible studies and the like.

Not this Labor Day though. Not for us anyway.

This Labor Day weekend in Texas saw the beginning of the worst wildfires in Texas history. As I type this the Bastrop fire continues to burn days later. Hundreds, with the possiblility of it being well over a thousand, of homes have been lost in this one fire alone. We Texans have officially survived the hottest summer on record for any state, ever. EVER. Coupled with the worst single year for drought the combination was a set up for the perfect storm, the perfect fire storm that is.

On Sunday of this past weekend, I came home from the movies to find my husband locating and packing up our important papers, pictures, cameras,  computers, jewelry, and of course the recipe box. I mean what man wouldn’t think of packing up his wife’s recipes. A man who likes to eat does! We had been alerted that we may have to evacuate because of a fire headed our way.

It’s surreal wandering around your house looking for keepsakes, things that can’t be replaced by a check from the insurance company. It makes you think and reevaluate. It brought me to the conclusion that I own a lot of nothing. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my life, family and my home. We have some nice things and some sort of “okay” things. What I mean is, none of it really meant anything when I was faced with losing it.

My sons are away at college so they were both safe. My husband and daughter were here with me and we had plenty of time to get to safety should we need to leave. Other than people, nothing really matters. Warning the neighbors who hadn’t heard, that mattered.

Now this may sound strange but I stood in my bedroom, looking at my twenty-year-old bedroom set, actually thankful that God had not given me all of the things that I had always told him I wanted. I don’t want to be so in love with this world and it’s trappings that I forget what’s really important. I don’t want to be so comfortable that my comfort zone becomes a prison disguised as paradise.

I know that the only reason I felt this way is because I know the unfathomable love of Christ.

God spared our home but so many others are not able to say that today and my heart breaks for them.

More importantly though, most people in this world can’t say that they know the unfathomable love of Christ either and that breaks my heart far more.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you — unless, of course, you fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5

I remember clearly, when I came upon this verse a few years ago in my daily reading.  It caught my attention, although I did not immediately understand exactly how to “test myself.”

I stopped to talk with the Lord for a moment, “Lord, I know in my heart that you live within me. I have seen the wonderful changes in my thinking and my actions since I accepted you as my Lord and Savior. I’m sure this is the case with the Corinthian believers as well, but Paul still tells them to test themselves. How can I do this Lord? How exactly would you have me test myself?”

I underlined this verse in red pen and went on with my reading. From past experience I knew that the Lord would speak to me on this issue soon and I wanted to be able to quickly remember and relocate the verse when His answer came. Within a couple of days I found myself nearing the end of the book of Philippians when verse 3:17 popped off the page at me. “Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.”

I can not imagine having the confidence in my walk with the Lord to humbly tell someone, “follow my example of living for Christ.” Yet Paul, under the influence of the Holy Spirit could say this. Out came the black pen this time and I made some notes in the margin. I noted that I have not necessarily met many Christians whose life should be used as a model of excellence and yet daily every one of us is an example to the world. Then I realized something else.

For the previous few days I had been preoccupied by business dealings with another Christian. Very occupied actually, as she had been very demanding, controlling and somewhat difficult to deal with. I actually fouind myself wishing I had never become involved with her in the first place. Each time we finished speaking I would note the way she had handled herself. I often thought, “My goodness, do I do this to others? Do I treat others graciously or do I make them wish they had never met me? Am I following her example or Paul’s?”

I have always been an analyzer by nature, and I believe to some extent this is one way of testing ourselves. If I am having difficulty with someone, I have to wonder, what started it? Was it something I said, or are they just this way with everyone? Another important question to ask ourselves is, “What is it exactly about this person that I consider to be a problem?” Why is this particular question important? Because in Romans 2:1 Paul tells us, “… for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”

And Paul once again is exactly right, the characteristics I found difficult to deal with in this woman are the very same traits I display in my flesh. I struggle with being demanding and controlling, and yet I am the first to notice when others do not place these traits in check.

As I gave myself more time to consider this situation and especially in this new light, I saw that the best way to test myself is to take note of the very things that bother me in others and realize that these are most likely the same things that I do myself. Under conviction, I realized that I had been showing favoritism, which is against God’s instruction. In James 2:9 we find that favoritism is considered a sin, even if that favoritism is toward ourselves over another. “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I, of course, am always able to continue to love and care for myself even though I struggle with these issues. Now the test was, will I love another with these same traits? My love for the Lord must be stronger than my love for self. Only because Christ lives in me, was I able to pass this test.

It so often boils down to community. We can read the Word alone but to apply what we’ve learned and show ourselves approved we must share our lives with others. We can only really examine ourselves when others hold the test paper.

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

Do you recall this verse in John Chapter 4? Jesus is talking to a Samaritan woman. As I was reading the other day I realized that this one verse speaks volumes of who Jesus is.

It is the sixth hour, which is around noon and Jesus asks the woman to draw Him some water from the well. She responds with complete surprise not only because people normally drew water at the end of the day but also because she is a Samaritan and being a Jew He would be considered ceremonially unclean for even having touched the same drinking cup as she did. What He is asking is extraordinary. Jesus has such a way of confounding the merely religious, doesn’t He?

Now if we are honest with ourselves, there are also statements that Jesus has made that us, his disciples who believe we are free of religion, find extraordinary and difficult to comprehend. And when our response is to question Him, we can imagine that His answer is the same to us as it is to this woman. “If you knew,” say it with me … “If you knew the gift of God,” now stop there and ponder just those seven words. “If you knew the gift of God.” If I truly know the gift of God, Jesus, why would I ever question anything He says? How could I dare? Revere Him, and fear Him sure. Honor, worship, adore, esteem, and praise Him, absolutely. Trust Him, glorify Him, magnify Him, and exalt His holy name, without a doubt. But question Him, no never, not if I know Him intimately.

And then Jesus tells us if you know Me “you would have asked … and (I) would have given….” If we truly know Him – His character, His will – we can ask and His immediate response is to give. We see this happen again and again in the New Testament. It’s time to take God at His Word, to delight ourselves in Him so He can give us the desires of our hearts. Remember what He has told us; no good thing will be withheld from him who walks uprightly.

If you are reading my thoughts today and you do not know Jesus personally, I have some wonderful news for you. There is something even you can ask Him for right now and be assured of getting. It is the greatest gift you could possibly receive. It is the gift of eternal life in heaven. You can ask Jesus to come into your life right now today, tell Him from your heart that you want Him to be the Lord of your life and ask Him to forgive you of all your sins.

Jesus has already promised in His word if you ask … He will give.