You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Psalm 30:11-12

It brings me so much peace in times of trouble to know that everything that Christians go through in this life has been sifted through the loving hand of God the Father first. When I encounter difficulties whether they be with finances, friends or family I can know that the Lord has given His approval for this situation to occur. His reason is always to draw me nearer to Him and teach me one more thing about becoming Christlike.

When Paul tells us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”, we know because of verse 29 that the word good here means “that which conforms us to the likeness of his Son.” Now to allow this trial to conform me to His Son’s image I must have the proper response to it.

The first response can be found in James 1:2. I must consider this trial pure joy. Joy? Yes joy, because I must understand that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. Next I thank the Lord for this trial, yes now I’m saying that we should be thankful in tribulation. With a proper response we already know by faith that we will grow through this trial as we go through it. I want nothing more in my life than to be like Christ my Savior and if suffering will do this, then (as I breathe a deep sigh) bring it on. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

And finally for me, my next response is to drop to my knees and ask my God what it is that He would have me do; what is it that He would have me learn? I already know that the trial, no matter what it looks like to the secular world, is a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” And God has made it clear to us many times over that spiritual battles are not to be fought in our might but the Lord’s. “For the battle is not yours, but God’s”, 2 Chronicles 20:15.

So as I wait on the Lord, I pray. I pray that He would show me any sin, that He would make a clear path for me to follow and that He would guide my thoughts and actions so that only His Will be done.

Lord God, I pray for all that will read this, that You would fill them, as well as me, with the knowledge of your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. I pray this in order that we may live lives worthy of You, Lord, and please You in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of You, being strengthened with all power according to Your glorious might so that we may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully give thanks to You the Father in all circumstances.
Amen and Amen

My sister is in surgery right now. The description the surgeon gave to her husband of how he will get to the brain tumor isn’t a pretty one. He gave him the list of possible outcomes, some of which are not pleasant, just before they wheeled her away.

I’m keeping strong by praying and loading up on the carbs. It’s just what I do best.

I’m believing God too though! I’m believing for a quick, perfect recovery, the tumor to be benign, and for family members to come to know Christ through this journey.

When my sister was being wheeled off to surgery she told her husband the exact way he was to say goodbye to her. Because he loves her, he acquiesced to her odd request. He waved, smiled and said, “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!”

This waiting is hard. I have a feeling he lied.

My world is being shaken yet I stand on His firm foundation.

I can’t even imagine how it’s possible to make it through tough times without the Lord to lean on. I need Him like crazy right now and oh, He is so faithful.

A week ago, at Bible study, a woman there told us her husband lost his job for doing the right thing. Their home came with the job and they have just weeks to move. She voiced her concern about being homeless.

Homeless? Not a member of my church family. Never.

I assured her that our home was open to her family of five if they needed us. It wasn’t the only offer and that makes me so proud of Christ’s bride. I love to see people care for others. It’s a beautiful thing.

Right after I told her this though I had a distressing thought that I shouldn’t have made the offer because my parents had plans to visit soon. Then God gave me peace that everything would work out.

The very next night I went to sleep with the thought racing around in my mind, “God’s sovereignty overflows with grace.” It was as if He was saying that He has everything under control and we are covered with a blanket of His favor. I had no idea why He was impressing this thought on me but it must have been important because I woke up with this same persistent thought.

I even wrote it as my Facebook status. I thought I understood the meaning of what He was saying.

I did, I just didn’t know why.

Not until my baby sister called a few hours later. She started with, “Don’t panic. God has everything under control.”

Then she proceeded to tell me that at eleven o’clock the night before – about the same time that I was hearing from God – she found out that she has a brain tumor. A rare and serious tumor that, although this type is rarely malignant, needed to be removed as soon as possible. She was checked into the hospital almost immediately and the surgery will be Friday. It’s a seven hour surgery and it will be taking place over 1500 miles away. I can’t be with her.

She is being so incredibly strong. Her faith in God is infectious. And it needs to be because few of our family members have placed their faith in Jesus for salvation. The more time that my parents, brothers and sister spend with her the better.

Still Friday is going to be… hard. The waiting and the inability to do anything to help will be frustrating.

If it weren’t for the fact that God already gave me something to focus on I may just go buggy. Instead though, I’ll be helping a family move in with us.

God really does have everything under control.

Last night, my husband and I went to an informational meeting about becoming foster parents. We’ve been mulling over the idea for quite some time.

I’m going to be honest and say that I can not, without a doubt, say that God has told us to do this. I know that we both feel lead to foster parent. Being even more honest would mean that I would admit that I feel more lead than him. But I don’t feel like getting that honest with you right now.

Foster parenting is one of the changes I’ve been alluding to over the last few posts.

I wasn’t going to write about it until we were licensed and maybe even had our first placement but I’ve changed my mind. I know that I will not be writing much at all about the kids we foster except maybe to say we welcomed a new family member or said a sad goodbye to a child.

So really, the process and all the emotions beforehand may be all I have to record.

Besides, after last night’s meeting I would have loved to have been able to log on to the computer and read how someone else dealt with the things they heard in the first meeting. Does the state intentional try to scare you off to the process of getting licensed? Do they want you to question whether you should take the next step or turn and run for the hills instead? Or are they just being honest?

I knew the meeting held the potential of making my husband question our decision but I certainly didn’t think it could do the same to me.

At least it answered one question I had as to the difference between working with the state versus a private, Christian Agency. As we cautiously step forward we will be doing so with the private agency.

Becoming licensed for foster care is a daunting task and one that God will have to personally lay His hand upon to make work for us. There are so many scheduling conflicts with the necessary training that right now I can’t see how it can possibly happen. We’ll know if it’s His will though, if it does.

A few winters ago when we lived in Wisconsin and after a bad snow storm, my husband was required to help move cars around at the dealership he works at in order to get the entire lot cleared of snow.

After hours of getting in and out of cars, cleaning the snow from those same cars, and trudging through a foot of snow he realized his wedding ring was missing. He called to tell me the bad news; we prayed that God would show him where it was.

A week later, when the snow started to melt, we decided to take some time out of our Sunday afternoon (when the dealership was closed) to have a look around. The kids and I had still been praying fervently every night and I truly believed this would be the day we found his ring.

As we passed by people who used Sundays as their day to “shop” unhindered by those pesky car salesmen, I made jokes about having to be married to whoever found the ring and put it on. The immense size of the car lot did not detour my faith. We didn’t find the ring but I knew God knew where it was.

I found this scripture,

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Heb 4:13 NIV

and prayed it back to Lord.

Three days later my daughter came running into the house. She was beaming as she showed me the ring her daddy had bought for her. She had lost it during the summer but she had had no idea where. Seems it had spent the winter buried under snow but as the sun shone upon the small gold band that was tucked safely in between a few white rocks in the garden, by God’s grace, it had caught my daughter’s attention. She was so extremely happy!

I couldn’t wait to tell my husband because (as I stated to everyone who would listen) to me this was God’s way of telling us to have faith, he knows everything and where everything is too. He would give Julian back his wedding ring in His timing! Bold proclamation to be sure, but for some reason, I was sure!

It was just one of those rare times when my faith was unwavering and I knew that I knew that God would return his ring.

It was rubbing off on Julian too because he continued to tell everyone at work, no matter how they scoffed at him, that God was going to return his wedding ring to him.

It wasn’t more than a few days later that my husband stopped home to show me his wedding ring back on his left hand where it belonged. The men he worked with were so shocked that he actually found the ring like he said that they even put up with his talk about God a bit more than usual. Isn’t God good?

The pains had actually started the week before. Kyle, then just six years old had come home from school saying that he’d gotten a stomach that day. When it happened again the following day, his teacher took me aside to say she was concerned. I promised her that I would take him to see a doctor. I had already been thinking about it since he had been complaining the night before too.

The doctor had declared him healthy, but here he was again early on a Saturday morning, complaining of abdominal pain. Thinking it may be gas, I told him to lie on his left side to help relieve the pain. It didn’t help him. The poor little guy just couldn’t get comfortable.

I had been reading the Bible when his pain started and to be honest, I was a little irritated that he was interrupting me. After all, the doctor had already told me that he saw nothing wrong with him.

Under conviction, I closed the Bible, then my eyes and prayed. I told the Lord I had no idea what to do. Should I call the doctor again? With the insurance we had at the time, it wasn’t like I was able to search out a second opinion. I would end up with the same doctor and risk getting that, you are simply being over-protective look, which I dreaded.

“Lord,” I said, “if this is serious please compel me to do what needs to get done. I have no idea how to handle this situation.”

A part of me wanted to brush it off but another part of me thought I should get out one of my medical book and see what the possible diagnosis might be. When I saw that some of the possibilities were serious I made up my mind to contact the doctor’s office before they closed at noon. They agreed to see me within an hour and so I rounded up all the kids and headed out.

The doctor went through his usual questions and checked Kyle over again. Kyle was in obvious pain so he decided to have his urine tested. For what, I wasn’t aware. The lab was to close soon so he asked me to stay in the waiting room while he took the urine to the lab himself.

When he came back into the office a half-hour later he was obviously upset. He looked me in the eyes and said, “It’s positive, he has kidney disease!” Pictures of Gary Coleman flashed before my eyes. I started to cry. Then he proceeded to tell me that we needed to get him to Children’s hospital immediately. He wanted to call an ambulance and have me follow separately with the other children.

No way, no way was I going to let this little six year go through this alone. I called my husband at work and told him what was happening. He agreed that I would take Kyle with me and pick him up at work on my way to the hospital. The doctor was to call ahead to the hospital and I was given the test results to take with me.

I wanted to breakdown but I wasn’t allowed, I had to be strong and keep everyone calm. I couldn’t possibly explain to Kyle what was going to happen because I simply didn’t know.

We waited for an hour before they could see him, more tests were done and finally a doctor wanted to talk with us. He held up an x-ray, if I remember correctly, and showed us the problem. I was expecting to see a hole-in-or-twisted-enlarged-or-missing-organ or something even more horrible. Instead the doctor points to a dot. A miniscule white dot, a kidney stone was the culprit causing all this pain, both physical and emotional.

Once we knew what the problem was we were referred to a wonderful surgeon who was kind, patient and caring. He also scheduled the surgery immediately so as not to force us to wait until after he returned from his upcoming month long medical-missionary trip. We were in complete peace as we waited for the surgery date. If Kyle’s body did not rid itself of the kidney stone, we were assured that God had lead us to perfect man to remove it for him.

The surgery took place the following week and while Kyle was under the doctor also closed up two holes in his abdominal muscles that in all likelihood would have eventually caused him to develop a hernia.

Whenever I think back on that day when I asked the Lord to compel me, I am amazed, ridiculous I know but I am, at how quickly He answered that prayer.

We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 1:3

Read the first chapter of 1 Thessalonians and you get a real sense that Paul considers the church in Thessalonica to be nearly a model congregation. In the verse of scripture above he mentions three things that confirm that they are true followers of Christ.

First he speaks of their work produced by faith. Faith always expresses itself in obedience to that which one believes. Our decisions, whether we realize it or not are always based on what we believe deep down, not just on what we say we believe. These Thessalonian’s actions proved to Paul, and to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia for that matter, that their faith was solely in God.

When Paul goes on to say that they labored “prompted by love”, it seems to me that the Thessalonians listened to that still small voice that occasionally tells us to do things we really don’t feel like doing. You know what I’m talking about, the voice that says, “Jenny isn’t feeling well maybe I should watch her kids this afternoon?” or “Mark and Irene are really struggling this month maybe we should ask if they could use some help with the bills?” Sound familiar? It’s the voice that is so easy to argue with and sometimes even easier to ignore. The Thessalonians listened to the prompting and labored out of love. Sometimes their labor was out of love for others; more often than not it was simply their love for Jesus that encouraged their action.

Finally we read that they “endured” inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. We don’t know exactly what it is that they were enduring, we can only guess. They may have endured many of the same trials and sufferings we who are believers today endure. Friends and family members deserting us because of our beliefs, or maybe the loss of a loved one. Some may have lost jobs or income because of their new faith. The only thing we know for sure is that it was their firm confidence in Jesus and his promised return that gave them the strength to endure the trials or persecution, as it also must be with us.

Yes, Paul was very thankful for them. Their lives proved the awesome power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Read the chapter again and then as Warren Wiersbe points out in his Bible Commentary, ask yourself these three questions:

1. Are others thankful for me?
2. Is God’s power seen in my life?
3. Do I make it easier for others to talk about Jesus?

See that tagline above. I wrote that long before I knew how appropriate it would be. It’s been a walk of faith since we moved to Texas nearly 2 years ago. Nothing seems to have come to us except through faith. Sometimes unwavering faith. Sometimes wavering.

His lessons have not been lost on me and I see God’s hand in each and every one. Our home, Julian’s job, car repairs, college tuition and so many more needs have been used to strengthen and grow our faith.  I can’t help but think it’s my fault. Maybe I prayed, “I believe, Lord, help my unbelief,” one too many times. He answers prayers, you know, yet almost never in a way I would have imagined.

The most amazing thing to me is that in this last year I have seen God answer prayers that I sent up to Him literally over a decade ago. Prayers, if I’m being completely honest, that I had given up on. And just because He can, he said yes – finally.

Which just proves what a sweet lady from church recently told me.  She said that most of the time when God delays his answer to our prayers it’s His way of saying, “Wait.” Wait in God’s economy means yes but just not now. I’m seeing that lately and it too is growing my faith.

I’m also realizing how important it is to truly believe that God does have the power to do what He has promised. That when He says, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer,” He really means it!

Once upon a time I had a thought. I mulled over that thought and as minutes turned into hours, hours into days, still I could be found thinking about the Christ, Jesus the Christ to be exact.

I thought about the definition of the word Christian, which is “belonging to Christ.” I thought about Jesus as my Life, not just in my life. And finally I thought about the verse found in Galatians 2:20,

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

I know, I know, that’s probably way too much thinking for someone like me but rest assured no one, myself included, was hurt during this long, strenuous process. I’m sure the padded helmet helped tremendously.

Anyway, this morning my mind seemed to be headed into a new direction, or so I thought. I awoke thinking how foolish I was at times to seek after happiness, fulfillment, contentment, even godliness or righteousness. I thought about how many times I had heard different people witnessing to non-believers say that Christ could save them from hell, if they would just believe in him. Even worse, I had heard others say that they should believe in Jesus to find peace.

While all of the outcomes may be good, right, pure, and true, should we really be seeking the benefits above the benefactor? Should our goal be to have it all together, to be faultless? Is that what makes us a Christian? Should we be telling people to believe in Christ for the benefits it brings to their life? And if I’m seeking after these things rather than the one who provides them, is there anyway I can ever find them? I think not.

I’m sure many of us have, even if we don’t relish admitting it, flipped on TBN just in time to catch Benny Hinn or another word-of-faith teacher tell us to send in our seed money or our $1000 faith gift, “even if you can’t afford it, in fact especially if you can’t afford it.” Their reasoning is that God can not be out given so if we give, then God will have to give. The more we give then the more we get, and if we don’t have it’s because we haven’t given. It’s easy to see the discrepancy in their teaching versus the Word of God, they aren’t teaching obedience to His Word but rather seek the benefits, with their own little twists of the truth thrown in for good measure.

But how is seeking righteousness any different? Isn’t righteousness the outcome of a life surrendered to Christ, one that is laid down in sacrifice to the one who gave His all for us? If I truly no longer live, as Galatians says, but Christ lives in me, then wouldn’t Christ be doing the same today in me, as He did 2000 years ago? That is to say, wouldn’t He be about His Father’s business, living in complete obedience to God? So then the only thing I should be seeking is to allow Christ in me to be obedient to God’s Word.

There will come a day when each of us stands before the God of all creation and answers to Him for our life here on earth. Some will have nothing to say for themselves at all, they never believed, some even boldly denied, that the God of the Bible is the one true living God.

Then there will be those who claim the name of Jesus as their VIP pass into heaven, they’ll stand before God and say, “I believed in Jesus, I read the Bible, I went to church every Sunday, and I even put my children in Christian school.” Yet Jesus will have been standing there listening to them the whole time that they spoke and they will not recognize Him until they hear Him say, “I never knew you, depart from me…” And off they’ll go sporting the perfect do, the perfect education, maybe even the perfect reputation. As 2 Timothy 3:5 puts it,

“having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.”
I don’t want to be found standing in either of these lines. I’d rather take the service elevator to my Savior’s throne and be cleaning the leather or polishing the jewels encrusted in it when this is going on.

When all is said and done, the fires of judgment will diminish, and only those things done by Jesus himself through me will remain to be rewarded. The rewards are not the benefit I seek but only to stand approved before God, and it is only Christ in me that can accomplish this goal. Christ in me the hope of glory!

While I was looking through some of my old writings that are saved on this computer, I was surprised by how relevant most of them are today. I realized that my writings on the web began days after the terror attacks on 9-11-2001. Only because I was looking for a more convenient way of publishing what I wrote on the web, the site gradually morphed into blogging. I had no idea what I was getting myself into at that time and how many rabbit trails the whole blogging process would lead me down.

I’m going to occasionally publish – with a few tweaks – some of those that are still applicable today. Since you can’t turn on the news nowadays without feeling the cloud of depression moving in I’ll start with the post below.

Fellow saints, I pray that our God may count you worthy of His calling and that by His power He may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. I pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 1:11)

The Lord’s Spirit is working greatly on this earth during this troubling time. I along with so many other Christians have a renewed sense of boldness. His Spirit confides in those who fear Him and He is speaking words of hope and promise. People are lamenting, “… things will never be the same …” Praise God! Let this be true, Oh Holy One.

Show me your ways , O Lord, teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
Psalm 25:4,5

The world does not open it’s heart to truth easily, sometimes that heart has to be broken to be opened at all. Now is the time to tell this hurting world about Christ. We as Christians should not be talking of fear, for the Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord. (2 Timothy 1:7,8a) Only His love and forgiveness can heal the pain in this world. We can be bold in our witness regardless of what the future holds because we know personally the One Who holds the future.
Our faith declares that the times ahead will be difficult, but our faith in Christ also comforts us with “a peace that transcends all understanding”, we need to show this peace to others. Strength through adversity and peace in turmoil, these are attributes of true Christianity. If you are finding these difficult to display to the world then you must do something about it. Spend extra time with the Lord; ask Him to reveal Himself through you to others. We need to be in His Word and in prayer for the country. Our witness is not in our words so much as in our actions and if we aren’t truly different than non-believers, what then do we have to offer? If our faith isn’t giving us hope and peace then what exactly does if offer to others? All that we do should be to the Lord’s glory, keep this in mind as you interact with the people around you today. The world is looking for hope and by our words and actions we can either lead them to or away from Him Who offers it.